Sponge: Poriferans. Multicellular organism. Consisting of jelly-like mesohyl sandwiched between two thin layers of cells.
Disposition: Simple animal. Lives in the sea.
Friends: None. Hermaphroditic.
Pastimes: Filter feeding.
SpongeBob: Sponge, bright yellow, wears square pants.
Disposition: Naive, energetic and always optimistic. Lives in an underwater pineapple.
Eats: Krabby Patties.
Friends: Sea Snail (Gary), best friends Patrick the Starfish and Sandy the Squirrel.
Pastimes: Jellyfishing, bubble blowing, singing, karate and making krabby patties.
“SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish, for twelve hours.”
Oh, SpongeBob. You effervescent, mad little sponge. In the midst of the doom and gloom of the week – I’ve had SpongeBob’s songs going round in my head. It may be a sign of an impending nervous breakdown or simply that spring is round the corner.
I love this little cartoon. It’s full of marine biology humour and irrepressible optimism from SpongeBob, his square pants and his interactions with people who love, and hate him. There hasn’t been a marine biology cartoon this good since 1988 and Sharkey & George the Crimebusters of the Sea.
Anyway, this Saturday has mainly been spent sitting in the fog, in my PJs, watching hours of SpongeBob and making the famous Krabby Patties.
History of the Krabby Patty
“The Krabby Patty – the most mouth watering, appetising food in the seven seas. Start off with a patty, grilled and juicy, crisp undersea veggies and cheese, and topped off with secret sauce and some bun. Voila! The Krabby Patty.” It is, quite simply, the tastiest sandwich in the sea. It has been jazzed up over the years with jellyfish jelly, served up in rainbow colours, monster sizes and even synthetic. Nothing gives SpongeBob more joy than making the Krabby Patty at the Krusty Krab restaurant. Nothing gives Plankton, evil genius and owner of the rival restaurant, the Chum Bucket, more pain than not knowing the secret recipe. Plankton spends his whole existence attempting to find out the Krabby Patty recipe and that coveted secret ingredient. Much hilarity ensues, when he does eventually steal the recipe – only to find out that the ingredients are – buns, onions, a cup of love, and four pounds of ground plankton!! Thank goodness, it turns out that this recipe was fake, and the secret is still safe.
“That which is fried, must be eaten”
How to make your own Krabby Patty
I decided to go for something a little bit more fishy and sea-crittery. So, here’s my spinach and seaweed muffin buns, with crab patties, and special jelly fish sauce.
For the spinach muffins
(Adapted from The Fabulous Baker Brothers)
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp dried yeast
Big bunch of spinach
Grating of nutmeg
1 tsp Nori
450g strong white flour
Pinch of sea salt
Semolina, for dusting the table (or you can use flour)
- I used my lovely bread maker and threw in all the ingredients to make the dough.
- To make without mechanical help; in a pan, soften your butter and mix with the sugar, then add your yeast.
- When this is mixed in, add the milk and then spinach and nutmeg.
- Put the mixture into a mixer and add the flour and salt. Keep in the mixer for a good 10 minutes.
- Then, leave your dough to rest in a nice warm place for 30 minutes.
- When it’s risen, just admire the green flecked dough for a while.
- Then, dust your surface with semolina and stretch the dough out; you want it about half an inch thick.
- Sprinkle more semolina on top of the dough and using a round cutter cut out the muffins.
- Heat a frying pan until hot then dry-fry the muffins for 5 minutes on each side until they are crisp and golden.
I’ve never made muffins before and was really surprised at how easy they were.
For the Krabby Patties
1 pound crabmeat (I used Orkney crab white meat, and tinned white crab meat)
2 slices granary bread
1 egg, beaten
1 tbsp homemade garlic mayonnaise
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
pinch of pink himalayan salt (or regular salt)
pinch of ground pink peppercorns
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons butter
The secret ingredient: Nori flakes
1. Put your crab into a bowl, being careful not to break up the meat
2. Add in the mayonnaise, mustard, salt, pepper, worcestershire sauce and nori flakes and egg.
3. Mix thoroughly,
4. Shape into patties, squeezing out the excess water.
5. Chill in the fridge for 30 mins.
6. Use a drizzle of oil and a knob of butter and fry on both sides for 5 minutes.
Now you have all your components – just make some extra special sauce to go with them.
For the special jelly fish (aka Chimichurri) sauce
3 large garlic cloves
2 cups fresh cilantro
1/2 cup fresh flat leaf (Italian) parsley
¼ cup red wine vinegar
⅓ cup olive oil
¼ teaspoon cayenne
1/4 pint groundnut oil
1/4 pint extra virgin olive oil
2 organic eggs (only the yolks)
1 garlic clove
1 tsp salt
some milled black and pink pepper
1tsp red wine vinegar
1. Whisk your eggs, garlic, salt and pepper together.
2. Add the oil, drop by drop, whisking in between.
3. Keep adding till all the oil is combined.
4. If it gets too thick, add in some of your vinegar to thin it out.
Finally, how to create your Krabby Patty:
add a little rocket, a patty, and some chimichurri sauce…
Oh – you can also eat it with just another blob of gorgeous yellow mayonnaise.
The other half, demonstrating how to eat a Krabby Patty.
We ate ours with raspberry and grapefruit smoothies! With my new happy straws for everyday drinking. I had to wait three weeks for these staws. Definitely my favourite purchase of 2012.